(upbeat music) (triumphant music) - Welcome to TVFilm.

I'm Jermaine Wells.

TVFilm showcases the talents of upstate New York media makers across all genres.

In this episode, we present two films on the subject of grief.

In the first film, a sensitive five-year-old girl searches for comfort after her family experiences a tragic event.

"Come Find Me" is directed by Nela Wagman.

- I felt, I mean, really I wanted to explore what the experience was of a small child who really doesn't have the words for the kind of experience she's having, a kind of event that happens and doesn't really understand it, and doesn't know how to ask for help.

People tend to say children are resilient, and children who go through these kinds of traumas in their early lives, you know, manage and get through.

And I think that grown-ups say that because it's easier to think that.

There's a, a very famous quote by a child psychoanalyst, Winnicott, who said, "It is a joy to be hidden and a disaster not to be found."

We all love being sought by the objects of our love, our mothers, our fathers, and when they don't come looking for you, and they don't really realize you're there, or they don't really see you, that's a devastation.

I'm hoping that this film will help remind people of the connection they have to their own childhood.

Every moment shapes them.

Every interaction supports or does not support them.

Every experience teaches them who they are.

(birds chirping) (gentle music) (birds chirping) - [Julianne] I mean, no, we could, but you just come over here.

Okay fine.

Well, I, (Julianne laughs) okay.

Well, you have to tell me.

Yeah, come here first, and we'll have a drink before we go out, yeah.

Still, whatever you guys wanna do is fine.

We have a sitter.

Well, tell Jerry not to drive like a maniac.

No, the sitter's coming early, so I have some time to run out and get some snacks.

Yeah.

Nothing fancy.

(hands clapping) - (Julianne laughs) Yeah, I think it should be fine.

Well, I, (laughs).

Well, okay, you have to tell me.

I don't know.

Yeah, Just come here first.

- [Sophia] Mom, come find me!

(footsteps pounding) ♪ You never know, dear, how much ♪ - (Charli giggles) - Shh.

♪ Please don't take my sunshine away ♪ ♪ The other night, dear ♪ ♪ When I was sleeping ♪ ♪ I dreamed I held you, ♪ ♪ (Charli sings) In my arms ♪ (Sophia laughs) ♪ (Charlie sings) When I woke, dear, I was mistaken ♪ - [Julianne] Okay, Miss Charlie, you wanna go for a ride?

- [Charli] Okay!

♪ [Charli] My head and I cried ♪ ♪ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine ♪ (Charli's singing fades) (doorbell rings faintly in the background) (basket creaks) - [Julianne] Hi Lilly.

Sophia's inside.

(insects trilling) (chattering on TV) (stairs creak) - Honey, your dad went to get your mom at the hospital.

There was a car accident.

(high-pitched note ringing) (dog barking) (toilet flushing) (Julianne crying) (school bus idling) (bus horn honking) (door creaking) (door bell dinging) (door bell dinging) (Sophia sighs) (footsteps pounding) (birds chirping) (car approaching) - What are you doing out here?

- Mom's asleep.

- How long you been sitting out here?

Julianne!

Julianne!

Sophia was outside when I got here, since she got off the bus.

- I-I must have been asleep.

I, wait, Sophia was outside?

- Okay.

Julianne, Have you been asleep all day?

- I asked Lily to come over for a few hours.

She must not have gotten the message.

- [Luis] Well, Sophia was outside all this time, almost three hours!

- Luis, don't!

(footsteps pounding) - (Julianne laughs) Well, you're a tough egg.

(lips smooching) (Luis sighs) (footsteps receding) (dramatic music playing) (Sophia panting) (high pitched note ringing) (heart beating) - Whatcha playin'?

Is that your baby, Sophia?

- [Sophia] Yeah.

- Mm.

Do you want to be a mommy someday?

- Yeah.

- Well, what would you think if we had another little sister?

Would you like that?

'Cause that is what we are going to do.

- Is there a baby in there?

- Yeah.

(Julianne heavily exhales) - Dad, can I get these?

Can I get these?

- Yeah, okay, yeah.

You wanna eat some now?

- I'm saving them for later.

- Hey, wanna help me (speaks softly).

(speaking softly) go to the other side?

(Luis makes airplane sounds) Okay.

Perfect.

Whoa, thank you.

(Julianne laughs) ( Luis clears throat) Okay.

- Oh, well you look at how nice this all looks.

- Yeah.

Sophia made your sandwich for you herself.

- They're twins.

- Whoa.

Wow.

This is like a little party.

Huh?

- Can we turn on some music?

- Yeah, sure.

Here's your playlist.

♪ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine ♪ ♪ You make me happy when skies are gray ♪ - [Luis] Oh geez, I'm sorry.

(insects trilling) - Those are for me?

Thank you.

- [Luis] Julianne?

(plastic container squeaks) - [Julianne] So we'll need sheets, mattress pad, diapers.

Everything.

- [Luis] Have you decided on color?

- [Julianne] Yellow.

Yellow's good for babies, hmm?

Cheerful.

- [Luis] Okay.

Sounds good.

(muted road noise humming) - [Julianne] Everything else in the closet for now.

- [Luis] What do you want me to do with the sheets?

- [Julianne] Give 'em to me.

I'll take them.

- [Luis] Okay.

Let me take your coat.

(basket lid thumps) (gentle guitar music playing) - In the next film, filmmaker, Andre Lambertson tries to make sense of the sorrow at the outset of the COVID-19 pandemic.

In "Elegy: My Two Months in Harlem".

- The premise of the film started at the beginning of the pandemic.

Spending time with Mr. Owens, one of the first things I recalled was watching people grieve.

And I felt like the normal ways of grieving or mourning had changed.

We had a hard time ourselves in the making of the film in a weird sort of way.

So I feel like this pandemic opened people up.

- Looking back on some of that material now, it feels very much, even more important in a way, as sort of a time capsule of that time.

- There were so many emotions and, and and the project just became this kind of safe space for me.

And I think that really, you know was part of the work for all of us.

- The beauty of spending time with someone like Beloved, and even Mr. Owens, was about love.

Like I could see how much Beloved loved the folks that he was working with.

I could see how much Isaiah loved his community.

In the end, I wasn't trying to make a film just about Harlem or African Americans or people without.

I was trying to make a film that spoke about the universal grief that I felt like a lot of people were moving through.

Today, I still feel like we're kind of in shock.

I feel like people a little, are a little numb.

I think what I'd hope is maybe some people can watch the film and maybe their heart can open a little, you know, during this time.

- [Man] Comfort this family right now, Lord God.

Take them through, Lord God, as they lay to rest of their loved one, Lord God.

You bless them in the mighty way, Lord God.

You make ways out of no ways, Lord God.

You do what you do best, Lord God.

And take care of your children, Lord God.

Comfort us right now, Lord God.

Make ways out of no ways, Lord God.

Do it forth right now, Lord God.

Bless us, Lord God.

In a mighty way, Lord God.

Strengthen us on every side, Lord God.

(mournful horn note playing) Touch our hearts, Lord God.

Touch our minds, Lord God.

Mend our broken heart right now, Lord God.

Touch us right now, Lord God.

Make a way right now, Lord God.

( group murmuring softly ) ( somber music ) (swings jangling) (ambulance siren blaring) (truck rushing by) (mournful horn music playing) (melancholy downbeat music playing) (trees rustling) (Isaiah humming) - [Man] As I said, - [Isaiah] The crematory?

- [Man] They here, right now.

You wanna call Jermaine to see?

You gonna need some help.

(Isaiah humming) (gentle music playing) (Isaiah continues humming) (phone ringing) (people chatting quietly) - I'm here.

I'm just getting over the coronavirus, so.

Somebody's death certificate.

Comes in white, comes in copper, comes in black, comes in blue, and comes in silver.

(female singing a ballad) People are traumatized.

I'm traumatized.

There's a wave of death, that's swept through our land.

I personally know probably over 50 people that has died in the last month.

- [Andre] You say, this is somebody you knew?

- Oh yeah.

Yeah, his wife and I have been friends for over 50 years.

I helped her raise her kids.

(ambulance sirens blaring) (cart clattering) - You coming to get that food?

Nobody ever saw New York like this before.

Some of the predicaments and some of the state of mind that people are in, I've been there before, because I was incarcerated.

And when being incarcerated sometime they'll leave you in a cell for a whole month and you don't get a chance to move out.

(metal door clanging loudly) You just basically like a hamster in a trap.

(ambulance sirens blaring) (mellow music) A lot of people have been passing away and dying from this coronavirus.

A lot of my loved ones, a lot of pastors and ministers and bishops.

Okay.

Let's take the juices and stack it right here.

Yes.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

I was talking to my lady and she was telling me that I'm not sleeping at night.

How can I sleep?

When I know people is dying?

- First stimulus payments, food arrive.

- I'm not in the mindset of surviving, I'm in the mindset of living.

Blacks is the ones that got to worry about it the most.

You know, people don't want me to be outside because I got diabetes and I got a bad heart and you know, not to be religious and like that, but, the God that I serve don't have me to fear none of that.

(upbeat music playing) - (man singing) ♪ Jesus you are, what what what?

You got your party, it's a party!

(man laughing) - And we got the youth out here working with us.

They gloved up, masked up, 12 feet in between everybody.

How it feel, man, to be giving to people in the community, how it feel to be giving them?

- It feels, it feels like a blessing for me to be helping out people that's going through a struggle like I've been through the struggle.

- So you know what it is like to want and need, huh?

- Definitely.

- Got you, king.

Appreciate you, man.

- Likewise.

_ You a blessing to us.

- Likewise.

(ambulance siren blaring) (pigeon wings flapping) (cross walk alert beeping) - [Isaiah] Right now you can have, 10 people can come in and view and then they can stay for a little while and then they gotta leave.

And another 10 people can come in.

Okay?

Mama gonna be 104 years old.

- Wow.

- She was in the hospital with pneumonia.

- Oh, okay.

- So, I thought she was gonna die 'cause pneumonia, you know, ain't no good for somebody at that age.

So I, I dreamt about Reverend Royals last night.

That's my stepfather who had been dead 10 years.

So I was like, oh Lord.

My heart was like, oh, he coming he coming to get her.

I said, well ma what you dreamt about Reverend Royals?

Child, we was having sex.

(people laughing loudly) - No she didn't!

- That was the best sex I ever had.

(people keep laughing loudly) (Isaiah bangs on desk) - [Andre] How do you laugh through all of this?

I can laugh through it because, the joy that God gives to us, the people who accepts it, is real joy.

It ain't a joy that comes when you, when you got some money and when you got good help.

It's joy all the way through.

So, you know, there's a sense of humor because I gotta, you gotta look at God working in everything.

(people quietly talking) Bless you, bless you.

(mellow music playing) Anybody out here, everybody's out here being helped?

Give it to her and she'll give you a receipt.

Okay?

(mellow music playing) - Come get tested for coronavirus.

If you don't know how, this is the website.

- Hi, we handing out papers to talk about the prevention of the spread of COVID.

- That's it.

Because that gotta be your pitch.

Have your mask on.

And y'all gotta remember, it's corona out here.

(people chatting) (horn honking) (kids laughing and playing) What's good kids?

You alright?

(Beloved chatting and laughing) (Isaiah humming) (kids playing) - Wasn't a word that I made up, it was a word that was in the Bible, even in the Quran.

(melancholy piano music playing) (woman sobbing) - [Andre] During these months in Harlem, I've seen pain, love, grief, joy, and faith.

- It's a chain of life.

We all must put links in this chain.

- Yes.

- The chain has been broken.

God called Miss Polly home.

(mellow music playing) (bird calling out) - [Andre] In a way we've all been contracted because of this virus.

But then there's the expansion.

(kids laughing) I pray that light will come out of all of this.

(melancholy piano music) Learn more about the films and filmmakers in this season of TVFilm at wmht.org/tvfilm.

And be sure to connect with WMHT on social media.

I'm Jermaine Wells.

(triumphant music) - TV film is made possible by the New York State Council on the Arts.

With the support of the Office of the Governor and the New York State Legislature.